A Flashlight

‘When tomorrow comes I’ll be on my own

Feeling frightened of the things that I don’t know

When tomorrow comes

Tomorrow comes

Tomorrow comes’

-Jessie J (Flashlight)

Have you ever woken up to that perfect ray of light that peeks through your bedroom curtains and leaves behind a trail of golden dust in its wake?  That cascade of golden that leaves you curling even more into your comforter in content at being woken up in the most subtle of ways. 

And yet, perhaps, like most people, you can't help but yearn for more sleep. 

Perhaps that is why light is said to be a path of guidance. A path where one will never get lost or stray away from what matters to them most.

A way of differentiating between the constant urge to just ignore the world and keep snoozing away or to finally rise up and begin the day with a flare, burning bright.   After all, it is the moonlight that guides one throughout the dark of night and the rays of golden that highlight the forest floor in their own vibrant glory.

            She wasn’t what they wanted her to be.

            She knew that.

            Perhaps, it was all those years of being called a disappointment or being looked down upon by lips that never wanted to hear her own chapped ones move.

            She wasn’t what they wanted her to be.

            And she had learned to live with that sad truth.

There's always a light in the midst of the darkness.  Yet, it is only seen by those who are actually searching for it.  Perhaps, you’ve lived your life divulging further into the darkness, without an orb of light in sight.  You’ve dived into an inky blackness that sticks to your skin like tar and it just won't let go. 

If you’re surrounded by nothing but black, it's hard to look for the white that you believe doesn't exist anymore. 

If ever you do see the light it just seems like a hallucination that you know will come to an end. 

We are so scared of things ending that we don’t even let them begin.  I used to weigh my days in ounces of misery and misfortune. Now, I measure them using my own system of beauty and content.

The stars were always brighter when she stared at them from atop her small balcony.

She was a dreamer.

She dreamed of writing to her hearts content and creating new worlds for only her eyes to see.

Of singing to the moon because he was the only one there to listen.

Of sketching whatever her fingers doodled on that parchment of Manila paper.

Her dreaming was accused of being a means of ‘thinking too much’.

How can you tell a child to stop THINKING TOO MUCH when you haven’t even seen what they can do with their mind?

To stop being creative and utilize their imagination to the fullest of their capability?

To strip them of the very thing that makes them see life in a positive light?

If you cannot even open up your eyes to the possibilities lying right there in front of you, in the child that stands before you begging for you to notice her for who she is and not for what you want her to be, what does that say about you?

Learn to live each day for each and every moment.  Not for when the day comes to an end so that you can start again tomorrow.  Life isn't about do overs.  It's about living each day to the fullest while it lasts.  It’s about accepting support from those who are present when you need them the most.  In the deepest black of your very being, allow the flashlight of your loved ones illuminate your mind.

Her flashlight came in the form of a friend.

A friend that would listen and respond in kind.

A friend who got her to fulfill her dreams even when the world told her not too.

A friend who made her get up on that stage, and made her sing in front of actual people rather than to the moon that only watched her from afar.

A friend who told her to write, to let the world hear her voice through her words.

A friend who held her while she cried and laughed with her when she smiled.

A friend who was always there when she needed her the most.

Learn to see the light even in the darkest circumstances. The darkness will always be a part of your life whether you like it or not.  Just remember, that without the darkness, you would never be able to see the stars.

            She wasn’t what they wanted her to be.

            No.

She was what SHE wanted to be.

Confident, passionate and determined. 

Once the darkness finally recedes, become the flashlight in someone else’s story.