A Second Hand Heart

‘All your friends think I’m hopeless, they don’t understand,

That this imperfect love can start over again.

It’s been broken apart,

Will you still take my second hand heart?’

-Ben Haenow ft. Kelly Clarkson (Second Hand Heart)

           

No matter how many times it has been bruised, crushed and stepped on, your heart never stops beating.

That itself should tell you that you’re stronger than you know.

Like scribbles on a dotted line, his heart thumps louder than his hitched breath that catches on the tip of his tongue.  Louder than the words that slip from his cherry lips.  Louder than the silent cry that frames his face.

His heart is red, yet, curled black at the edges, like a rose on fire.  Burning.

A second handed heart.

One that has been used one too many times, and will never know respite.

When life leaves you high and dry on the epitome of helplessness, you must remember that you are not truly helpless, hopeless or broken.

A second hand heart doesn’t actually make you second hand.

It just makes you cautious.

Adept to change at any given point of time.

But, you must remember, you can CREATE the change too.

She stands there leaned up against the kitchen counter as he seats himself upon the mahogany.

Just being in her presence makes him feel apprehensive.

His trust has been used as a means to an end too many times for him to truly be able to trust again.

Her eyes glitter as she hands him a cup of coffee.

His gaze shifts towards the mug of swirling warm colors, not wanting to meet her confused stare.

She has his love, but, not his heart. 

Perfection is so last year.

I’ve spent my life trying to find this ‘perfect’ world that everyone talks about, only to find myself contently living on the edge of imperfection.

You are IMPERFECTLY PERFECT.

Call it a contradiction, if you will.

But that is what the secret of life truly is about, isn’t it?

Finding the imperfection in the perfect is just the beginning of actually living life to its fullest.

Her hand squeezes his fingers reassuringly as they stand atop the veranda. 

His lips curve up, as she gives him one of her looks that tell him he’s zoned out again.

‘I love you,’ she mouths to him, leaning her head against his shoulder.

He feels his eyes burn with unshed tears at her words.

He hopes that one day he’ll be able to say the same words back to her.

 Use your words to convey even the smallest hint of your emotions to the ones you love.

Your feelings matter.

Your emotions matter.

Along the path of life, never forget that.

‘I want this to last,’ he thinks to himself, holding his breath as he stands on the precipice of a kindling relationship. 

‘I want to be able to love, again.’

He’s brought out of his silent reverie by her laugh.

His eyes snap up towards her glittering smile that she fails to hide under the hand covering her mouth.

The mirth in her eyes give her away, and he can’t help but grin back.

‘I’m going to make this last.’

Once in a while, taking a leap of faith is just, well, good faith.

In the end we only regret not taking the chances that we avoid to regard, don’t we?

They say to take baby steps.

But why not start out with a giant leap, and then slow down your strides once you’ve gained your footing again?

He gazes at their entwined fingers and takes a deep breath.

His mind is open to the possibilities that stare him right in the face.

He’s got his eyes closed, but, he’s ready to jump.

Spread the love. Always.

In this world that is made up of black skies, just finding that white star to guide the way, is enough hope to last a lifetime.

“Can I look, now?”  she giggles under her breath as he leads her up the steps of their new home, giving subtle instructions of where to step so that she doesn’t trip over her own two feet.

 “Yes,” he replies as he takes his hands off of her eyes, watching as her irises shine with a newfound kind of hope that he can’t help but want to keep there forever.

Her arms wrap around his neck as he holds her in an embrace, his lips moving with words he didn’t know he would be able to say aloud.

“I love you.”